Snippets from the Base of My Skull

To continue the down (but not dangerously so) day I am having I listened to a mix CD I made some time ago called “Music From The Base of My Skull”.  For me it is kind of a viscous, pasty, melange of darkness that when played at high volume can bring me out of a funk.  I can’t explain it but it seems to work most of the time.  I’m reminded just now of a few lines from “Almost Famous”:

“Do you have to be depressed to write a sad song? Do you have to be in love to write a love song?”
William Miller in “Almost Famous”

And the answer for me as it pertains to “Music From The Base of My Skull” is 97% of the times I have listened to that CD it has had a positive effect on my mood.  I made it as a form of therapy and it works.  That isn’t to say that all music works that way for me, all of the time.  (See my previous post about Sarah McLachlan)  Here are some snippets from that mix CD.

Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
— Garbage “I Think I’m Paranoid”

The body and face and soul of you is gone down that deep black hole
Destroy the mind-destroy the body-but you cannot destroy the heart
And you, you make me so I need to disconnect
And you make it so real
I don’t need your love to disconnect
— The Smashing Pumpkins “Fuck You (An Ode to No One)

I’m so happy ’cause today
I’ve found my friends …
They’re in my head
I’m so ugly, but that’s okay, ’cause so are you …
— Nirvana “Lithium”

No escape from the mass mind rape
Play it again jack and then rewind the tape
And then play it again and again and again
Until ya mind is locked in
Believin’ all the lies that they’re tellin’ ya
Buyin’ all the products that they’re sellin’ ya
They say jump and ya say how high
Ya brain-dead
Ya gotta fuckin’ bullet in ya head
— Rage Against the Machine “Bullet in the Head”

Your voice whispers nearly all the time now
Reminding me just how worthless I am
Sometimes I just hear you laugh forever
I want you the fuck out of my head
– Stabbing Westward “Violent Mood Swings”

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down.
— Tool “Sober”

Those people who tell you not to take chances
They are all missing on what life is about
You only live once so take hold of the chance
Don’t end up like others the same song and dance

Motorbreath
It’s how I live my life
I can’t take it any other way
Motorbreath
The sign of living fast
It is going to take
Your breath away
— Metallica “Motorbreath”

Your empty walls…
Your empty walls…
Pretentious attention
Dismissive apprehension
Don’t waste your time, on coffins today
When we decline, from the confines of our mind
Don’t waste your time, on coffins today

Don’t you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication
— Serj Tankian “Empty Walls”

I am so all-American, I’ll sell you suicide
I am totalitarian, I’ve got abortions in my eyes
I hate the hater, I’d rape the raper
I am the animal who will not be himself
— Marilyn Manson “Irresponsible Hate Anthem”

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