Falling

All I wanted was a nice story I could tell my kids about how we met, how I proposed, you know, the nice romantic shit. Well, it looks like that train derailed before it even got to the station.

I walked by you in the hall, we both looked at the floor, but moments after we passed, we both looked back. There may have been something akin to a spark in that look. Whatever it was, we became friendly after that.

A couple of weeks later we did it in a storage room sort of straddling a mop bucket full of grimy water. It was a lot hotter than it sounds. The hot sex aside, we weren’t dating. You kinda had a boyfriend and I was “emotionally inaccessible”. Like you could gauge my emotional state with a mop handle up your ass.

A few more weeks passed and we were out with a group of friends. You whispered in my ear how you thought it would be hot if I took you right there on the table. As sexually adventurous as I am, the best I could do was the handicapped stall in the mall restroom, then again in the back of my truck on the way to your car.

No question about it, we were physically compatible, but your kinda boyfriend was becoming more of a “this is my boyfriend” and I was still a head case that had a penchant for having sex in places other than the bedroom.

One Saturday I was out at the beach, just sitting around, people watching and you walked up, with him. You introduced us and the three of us talked for a bit, mostly the weather, the water and the seals.

When I got home that night, I checked my e-mail and found a note from you with some pictures that he must have taken. I am pretty sure he would never have wanted those pics to get out of his hands. The next morning around 7 you knocked on my door. You had coffee and doughnuts and bagels. The food had barely touched the table, when we were entwined, the bedroom was too far away so we fell to the floor.

When we were done we sat at the table and picked at the food. You asked me if I had gotten the pictures. You said that was adventurous as he got, but he was a really good guy, and you could see yourself being happy and settling down with him. I asked you what role I played in all of this and you told me that I was there for you to talk to about your past and your present and your future. Oh and the sex was a bonus for both of us. You said that you knew I had problems and would never be as stable as he is. You went on to say that you had problems too and that was what made us so good together, that’s what made us so passionate.

When you left, I watched out the window as you got into your car. When you drove away, I felt something that I hadn’t felt in a long time. As I watched you go I knew that I was falling in love.

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