I am very drowsy today. I don’t really have an explanation for it. I got up, I had my usual breakfast, talked with my dad for a while, had coffee and now I’m in my room, computer on my lap head bobbing about. I hope I don’t hurt hurt my neck. I’m falling asleep while I’m reading something. My hand is always on my mouse so I am randomly right or left clicking on things when I nod awake. I’m never out for very long, 10-15 seconds at the most but usually only a fraction of a second. Interestingly enough, my mind has whole dreams in that slice of time. I am experiencing my life differently than I do when I’m fully awake. This doesn’t happen very often, maybe 3 times a week, but I don’t shy away from it when it happens. Just as I wake up from a full night’s sleep with songs on my mind, I often come back to consciousness with an idea trying to push its way out. The thing is, they don’t last very long, so if I’m not ready to capture it, it’s gone. Consequently, I have a folder full of beginnings. They sounded good when they started but I just couldn’t come up with the middle, or the end… sometimes both. So I just file them away and go back through them every once in a while looking for a spark of something to grab me and show me the rest of the way. Many times, I don’t know where the inspiration is coming from; past, future, a whispered seduction in a quiet corner. It’s just nice to hold onto for a while when it does come because, at least for me, it doesn’t stick around for too long.
What about you guys? Does anyone out there have a collection of starts that haven’t made it into something publishable?