The Pretender

“I’m the voice inside your head
You refuse to hear
I’m the face that you have to face
Mirrored in your stare
I’m what’s left, I’m what’s right
I’m the enemy
I’m the hand that will take you down
Bring you to your knees”

I used to listen to this song over and over, again and again, when it first came out.  Then the radio station I listened to in San Diego, 91x, put it in heavy rotation.  After a while, this section had a hold over me.  It was one of those times that I was really identifying with the song and the person who wrote the song.  I figured that Dave Grohl must know something about what I’m going through.  Not that he knew me and knew what was going on in my life per se, more that he was writing lyrics that I could identify with.  So, I drove around in my car, with the radio tuned to 91x and a CD with “The Pretender” on it (and nothing else).  It became my anthem… if 37 year old white guys are allowed to have anthems.  When it all came crashing down in 2009 I stopped listening to it.  In fact, I stopped listening to everything.  I’m not sure why, but there wasn’t any place for music in my life then.  Maybe it was because there was already so much going on in my head that I couldn’t clear a space.  My theory is that since music plays a big role in my life, life events are tied to songs, that I didn’t want to tie memories from that time to music so I wouldn’t relive that time whenever I heard a particular song.  It wasn’t until I moved to Sacramento, that I started getting interested in music again.  I made my first mix CD since  2007 and “The Pretender” was the first song on it.  It holds a mixed bag of memories, but most of them are good.  Now, I’m back into music and I’m constantly trying to find meaning in songs.  But then, if you’ve been reading my blog you probably already knew that.

Excerpt above from “The Pretender” by Foo Fighters

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