I Know You But… ECT

I know you but
I do not recall
Anything
About you

The problem with ECT can be explained just like this.  It has been 15 months since my last treatment and I am still having memory problems.  I say “still” because I don’t know if these issues are supposed to go away or if they’re going to be permanent.  I can, for the most part, create new memories.  Sometimes, it takes repetition to imprint something on my mind.  For instance, the major city I live near, has a tricky street configuration.  I’ve been living here for a year and a half and I still don’t have it down.  There are a couple of places I go on a regular basis and I can make it there and back very easily, but if I try to go other places I get turned around very easily.  I don’t know if that is because of ECT or maybe some medication I’m taking.  If I have a list of things to do or to shop for, I always make notes if there are more than two items.  Other things happen, that I have mentioned before; I often times have problems choosing words when I am speaking.  I can’t come up with the proper word to express the thought I am trying to communicate.  Sometimes I can’t come up with the word I need to complete a sentence when I’m writing.  I have no idea what to attribute that to.  If I am reading aloud, I often stumble over words that appear to come in the wrong order.  I combat this by slowing down and reading like a kindergartener. Those are just a few things that I deal with on a regular basis.  Some, I know, are due to ECT.  Others are caused by a number of other things.  I may have come a long way since the break and I may be stronger now than I was even a year ago.  There are still good size cracks in my exterior.  I have to figure out a way to fill them and/or keep them from keeping me from making progress.

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5 thoughts on “I Know You But… ECT

  1. I do not have ECT and cannot even imagine your daily struggle, but I have had a terrible memory as long as I can remember and I repeat things in my head and try to remember places nearby and try to remember the colors of things or something that reminds me of an emotional attachment helps the most. When it can’t, I try to relate it to what I know…so I can put a back story to it so that it becomes ingrained into my head.
    I hope you have better days very soon! best luck ❤

  2. I have not had ECT for my bipolar disorder, but i have memory problems too, and i’m almost certain it’s my medication. and i totally relate to not being able to come up with the right words when having a conversation! UGH! it’s terrible. i’ve been going crazy thinking that something is wrong with me. i’m sorry you are having the same problems.

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