A Bug

A bug just ran up my arm, not a real bug, mind you, this one was generated inside my cranium…

That’s a new development.  I wonder what brought that on, maybe the Abilify has started to lose some of it’s efficacy, I was taking it for more than being and addition to my anti-depressant.  It is, first and foremost, an anti-psychotic.  Maybe I should turn some lights on in here.  These things like to attack in from the shadows.  This is the first time in a very long while that I have had a hallucination that actually touched my body.  They usually are just in my vision and then, poof, they’re gone.  This one appeared on my wrist, like it came from under the keyboard, and ran up my arm until it disappeared under my sleeve (at my elbow).  It looked like a spider but I couldn’t really tell, it was graying-black, about the size of a pencil eraser (#2 wooden pencil).

Luckily, I see my psych-doc tomorrow.  I definitely need to talk to him about this.  Hopefully we can come up with a good treatment plan that doesn’t involve ECT.  I would really, really, really like to avoid ECT.  I have to say here, that it is not a fear of ECT as much as it is a desire to stay out of the Psych Hospital.  Here, where I live, ECT requires being in-patient.

But that is not what this is about.
I saw a bug on my arm, that wasn’t there and I’m going to talk to my doc about it tomorrow.  In the mean time, I’m going to turn on a light.

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2 thoughts on “A Bug

  1. i don’t know much about hallucinations. are they ever caused by anxiety? in the past when i’ve seen bugs running around on me or around me, usually i am severely anxious. But that could just be me.

  2. They can be caused by being anxious though I am not usually anxious. This encounter was very matter-of-fact and I was very calm when it happened. It was like “Hey look, there’s a bug on my arm. Maybe I should swat it away.” When I went to give it a whack, it had disintegrated. Then I thought “Oh it was a hallucination, hmmm, interesting” And that was all there was. I have since learned that I may not get to see my psych-doc tomorrow, due to weather, and I’m hoping that doesn’t happen.

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