38 seconds

when I am sitting cross-legged on the floor
rocking so hard to keep the light and the
sound out, rocking so hard to keep the beat
of my heart at bay, rocking so hard that
I can’t get the bullet into the chamber,
my tears have wet my fingers, my sobs
wrack and shake my body over the rocking,
when I am 38 seconds from ending it all
I think…
there are people out there like me,
people that are suffering just like I am,
people that are hurting just like me,
people that are so close to giving up,
that I hope I can assist,
if I can help just one other person
get through, I have done something
good and right and humane

— GB

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