Did it really happen

I know, or at least I’m pretty sure it all happened…
But everything seems like ghosts to me now
It’s a strange thing,  memory,
There is no rhyme or reason
Why this memory exists,
But this one is gone

That’s what I mean in saying that I’m only
Pretty sure things happened
I remember certain events,
But not in a particular order

It’s as if the connective tissue has been removed
Everything is just piled together like a stack of pancakes
You can move them around but
There really is no way to make it all make sense,
No matter how much butter and syrup you put on them

Sometimes I have a recollection
That seems like it’s real and
I just sit and wonder how to tell if it is true
Or just a wraith of a recollection,
How did it rise to my attention,
Is it something I can believe,
Or is it just a trick being perpetrated by my mind

I could resort to questioning others,
I could resort to making myself seem incompetent,
I could resort to making myself feel awkward and embarrassed,
But, rather than put myself through all of that…
I resort to just sitting quietly
and trying to put all the pieces together myself

Most of the time I am left wanting for answers
and then I am back to the beginning

It is all part of a circular discussion
That I am constantly having with myself,
In search of the linear, logical, truth I know exists

— GB

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