lost in the desert of my life
waiting for a message,
what direction should I go
to find you, that’s the only
thing I want for my life,
I crane my neck to look over
the top of the dunes, all I
can see is an endless river
of sand, solitude and sorrow,
flowing away with my
happiness on golden grains
slipping through my fingers,
where I am left longing to
see you again no matter
how far across this desert
you may be
do you remember we were staying in that sketchy motel
on the outskirts of Vegas because we couldn’t afford
a casino room, gas money and getting married
nothing can match the way you looked at the stars
in the middle of the desert, the awe on your face as your
smile spread from ear to ear, then the questions you asked
that I had no hope of answering because I know nothing
about the desert sky and was too busy staring at you
I don’t know exactly what happened that night, we decided
that getting hitched was not the best idea and after holding
hands under the heavens for a few more hours we checked
out of that dive and got on the road for home
we didn’t last long after that, saw less of each other and then
not at all, there was no resentment, no awkwardness,
no pointing fingers, no blame, it felt like the most natural thing
that could have happened, the only thing I have missed is
looking up at the sky, the stars will never be the same after you
not many days have gone by
since I last thought of you,
stars form spheres
in the desert tonight,
all I can think of is
Coachella, PVD, Radiohead,
Pixies, Ferry Corsten and
The Cure, I wish, don’t I
come back to me, we’ll
do it again and the desert
will welcome us with
balls of light and sonic
pulses rearranging our
senses, making us burn
to be together
Friend in Exile
My friend in exile
My fellow desert dweller
We pass occasionally
Little gifts of
Thoughts and feelings
Scooping them up
As fuel for our journey
They are not a burden to us
But of incredible value
In our voyage
The time is drawing near
When our paths won’t cross
For quite some time
These little gifts will
Keep us going
Until the desert sees fit
To bring us together again
The passage that changed your life…
Human beings cannot become perfect.
Evil can be redistributed, but never eliminated.
The temptation to cop out is ever present, but maybe
all we can hope for is to remain committed to the struggle to do our best.
We all wander in the desert, lost and alone.
We suffer, seek some reason, some certainty, some clarity.
We want the face of the enemy to be clear at last, and for
the good guys to win once and for all.
When we forget who we are, we risk becoming a force of evil.
We define ourselves as those who define others,
or separate ourselves from others by denying our common humanity.
Our only hope is as a community of exiles, separated from the illusions of childhood,
the illusion of the all good family, and of a secure place in a world that makes sense.
It doesn’t matter how we came to this point.
What matters is that the loss of innocence is permanent.
There is no returning.
There is only the community of wanderers whose only comfort
is to touch hands of other exiles we meet along the way.
Upon reading the passage that changed your life…
I am stuck in the struggle to be perfect
I know it can’t be total but I want part of me to be
The evil inside me holds me down
Keeping me away from the realization of my dreams
I’m thrown into the wasteland of my soul
Worse than the desert because it’s cold and dark as well
I am the only exile here
No one can get in
I can’t leave
The only hope I have is that someone
Will be able to break open this shell
To let the warmth of the desert in
And let me start my journey
Into the vacancy of the world