17 Years

It has been 17 years
My God
I remember the anguish
It is still in my bones
During the last weeks
I came in off visiting hours
So we could have
Quiet time without interruption
I cherish those times
Lightly holding your hand
Gazing into your eyes
They would close when you took
  Your mini-naps
I recall how angry I was
  When you to told me your decision
You were a fighter for so long
How could you just give up…
But it wasn’t for me to understand
It was for me to accept
It is for me to tell people about you
  About the woman you were
  About how amazing you were
  About how brave you were
  About how you cared for me up to the end
Time goes by
I am always grateful that you
Were in my life
— GLB
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Sometimes

Communication
is all I want
simple words
relaying
intentions,
feelings,
nonsense…

Any type of interaction
showing that you
still exist

A Call
A Message
E-mail

Let me know that you
are out there

Let me know that
Sometimes…
You think of me

— GLB

The Same Way

It’s the same way
Most of the time
Then I’m not
And I can’t find
The spots to make it
The same way again

Constancy keeps me
Centered,
In the moment,
Ready
Then it doesn’t

When it happens
Everything I touch
Is in question
Right or wrong
Caring or indifferent
This is the way
My cookie crumbles

Time
Time and solitude
May be the only antidote

— GLB

Something Missing

It has taken a lifetime from me
No end to tears when I discover
Something missing
With no way to bring it back

Afraid of how it will progress
I search for a way
To keep the memories I have
Hidden from the horrible monster

I have no way of knowing
What will get gobbled up next
Something old
Something new

All eventually passing into oblivion
The time between now and
Eventually is the only promise I can accept
What I have for now brings solace

— GLB

Sad Songs

I sing the sad songs
Under my breath
Only a slight whisper
Detectable by
Those drawn near

Holding back on the words
I struggle to
Squelch the tears,
They come
None the less

Attempting to release the pain
I tilt my head back
Pushing my sobs to the sky
Tears trickle into my ears

Shaking my head to clear them
I catch a glimpse of you
In the doorway

The only way I know
Of making me smile
During sad songs

— GLB

Untitled Good Memory 305

As we stepped off the curb
A gust of wind and rain
Blew her umbrella upside-down
I stood in the middle of the street
Laughing like a fool,
Almost getting run down
I caught up to her at the curb
Put my hand in the small of her back,
She looked at me and smiled as we were
Getting drenched running for the car

— GLB

The Ultimate Setlist

Yes, there is love
But first, there is music
It spans all
It brings us up
It brings us down
But most of all
It brought us together
It binds us still today

The melody grabs you
The words pull you in
The combination
Wraps itself around your heart
With the promise
Of never letting go

We search for
The ultimate setlist
Something that speaks
To our soul
Brings memories
Brings tears
Brings joy
Perfection in every track

The soundtracks of
Our lives
Each song building
On the last
Until it is locked into
Your very being

Find it
Hear it
Hold it
May it never go away

— GLB